Congratulations, Colbert

My office received word early yesterday that our very own Stephen Colbert won the contest to have the new glorified Brita/Ionic Breeze/Porta-Potty named after him.   He really needs to step up his game, though, since he only received 230,539 votes.  His following used to be much larger than that.  I’d suggest acquiring a number of Kanye West clones to worship him, but we’re still dramatically overstocked on Vince Offer clones.

Many of you are already aware that NASA can opt out of using Colbert for their space-age Porta-Potty.  We’re going to let them decide on this one.  It’s more interesting this way. But, at least if they choose the runner up, Serenity, then we have an excuse to make some poor, unsuspecting schmuck look like Nathan Fillion, hide him in a secret compartment and watch the life get sucked out him as they launch him into space.  Kind of like how I felt while watching Drive.

But not matter which way it goes, NASA will really have to give a flying crap.  And put it in orbit.

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